Christmas Traditions.

my family is one of a kind.
I'm home for the holidays and have been reminded of how unique my family really is. we have some weird traditions, and some that in my mind are pretty normal...all of which i couldn't imagine Christmas without. I use the word tradition loosely, because in my family these are things that we do every year without fail...so in my life these are traditions. :) There are the normal ones, baking cookies, decorating the tree, opening one present on Christmas Eve. I also have traditions that are specific to my family...I have yet to meet another family with the same traditions we have...

Tradition 1: Getting Grandma to Virginia
This is always one of the most complicated traditions of the holiday season. This isn't because it's difficult to find a way to get my grandma down to Virginia, obviously there are planes, trains and automobiles. It's the extravagant way this all has to be planned.
For those of you who do not know my grandmother, I will only explain her as a character. She can be stubborn, and is very formal...oh and a serious pack rat. When it comes to any holiday she does not EVER assume she is invited to our family gatherings, even if every one of her children and grandchildren will be attending. She must have the person who is hosting the holiday event call her or email her, email is better because it gives proof which will be explained later on, and formally ask her to come to the event.
Once the invitation has been accepted there will be multiple phone calls about where she will be staying, what she should bring, the exact schedule of the event, and how she is getting to the event. All of these things will be discussed multiple times with her hearing something that was the opposite of what was said (hence the emails).
After the many discussions comes the actual traveling to Virginia. Since I have moved to New York, and only live about an hour and half from her (an hour and a half towards Virginia) I have been volunteered to be the first option in getting her to Virginia. I love my grandmother, but making a six hour drive with her is a lot of work.
You need to tell her to be ready an hour before you actually want to go, not because she won't be packed, because she will remember 100 different things she MIGHT need during her visit to Virginia. You also have to play inspector when she is taking things to your car. She will bring EVERYTHING she thinks she may need. "Grandma do you really need five rolls of wrapping paper?"
She also will need help consolidating, or there will be no room for either of us in the car. This year she brought down numerous present bags and plastic bags. Each plastic bag contained one or two items, and easily could have been put in one or two BAGS.
After you have helped her load all of her belongings into the car she has to go through the house make sure she hasn't left anything she might need, turned everything off, and locked all the doors. She will then grab her purse and two other "travel bags" which are filled with receipts, papers, magazines, peanut butter, sometimes some fruit, and things she couldn't find room for in any of her other bags.
The actual drive with her is not very bad, the only time you have to move her along is if there is a bathroom break...she takes her time and if allowed would spend 30 minutes each break, and no not all that time is spent on going to the bathroom.
This tradition was started when everyone moved away had kids, and realized it's easier to get her to us rather than have all of us traveling up there. It's something I've come to expect, although I don't always look forward to it, it's a family tradition and you just can't break those.

Tradition 2: Last Minute Shopping
Anyone who knows my family knows we are a family of procrastinators. Everything we do is pushed until the last minute with every intention of having it done yesterday. I can not remember a Christmas where we weren't out one or two days before Christmas doing all, not just a few extras, of our Christmas shopping. This year is no different. I got here on Monday night, Tuesday was spent with my sisters doing very little shopping and my mom working. Today was spent with me making a trip to Target, which by the way was a very successful and quick trip, the sisters going to the mall, parents shopping for the kids and grandma doing what ever she does when she goes out. I don't think there was a single Christmas present in the house on Monday night when I arrived.
I don't have a problem with this, because it's easier for me to go shopping at home then it was in Cooperstown (imagine the twilight zone of shopping...NOTHING), and I've gotten into this habit that this year I just made a choice to wait until I got to Virginia to do my shopping.
There are cons to this and they aren't the obvious ones. You would think that with all of us putting our shopping off we would have a hard time finding the items we want. This is not the case, I am convinced my parents have their own store with all items we asked for because there hasn't been a Christmas that they have uttered the words "sorry we couldn't find that." The one con is what I like to call Stressed Out Suzy. She's my mom, in a way, but is so stressed out and frazzled that it's comical. She is just running around doing her own thing and if you need something from her you kind of have to run along next to her until you get it.
Every year I make a promise to myself that this is one tradition I will break, and every year it's three days before Christmas and I haven't bought a single present. Maybe next year?

Tradition 3: Dysfunctionally Functional
I know it sounds ridiculous but that's exactly what we are, we have dysfunction down to a science. We are amazing at it. My whole family is constantly running around, trying to get stuff done, fighting (all with tons of love), getting stressed out...but we all do it with grace. My family has figured out how to be dysfunctional while being a completely functional family, it's all about interpretation. We know that when mom says I'll only be at the office until 1230 she actually is saying I MAY be home by 3, so don't make any plans with my car. When Grandma says can you take me to the mall for an hour, what she really means is can you take me to the mall leave me there all day and I'll call you when I've found the three perfect presents I'm looking for. When you ask Michael what's for dinner and he responds with "I don't know" that DOES NOT mean "I don't know but we'll figure it out." it actually means "I don't know, your mom probably won't be here...so fend for yourself here's some money." You have to make sure you get the money though.
I have told people when they meet my family it's survival of the fittest, you have to be able to fend for yourself, because my family is constantly going 100 miles an hour and if you can't keep up we will leave you in the dust, except during family gatherings, that's when we sit back and relax. I recently (well in May) had ec come home with me, and although he doesn't admit it I think he was a little thrown off by my family. Eventually he picked up on speaking up and surviving, but for a second I was worried he wouldn't make it. :) Christmas is just the same, dysfunctional functional, and that's a tradition I wouldn't change. I love that my family is so all over the place and so together at the same time. Survivors adapt to situations, and we have adapted to dysfunction.

What are some of your quirky Christmas traditions?