holy winter break

slacking has been my thing lately. being on winter break will do that to you :) so lets see where to begin.

christmas:

Christmas was a two day long event for my family. The McManus plus Mike clan opened presents in the morning, on a side note...the parents did well this year :) Then we had the Tarr clan over for Christmas dinner and more present opening. Saturday was xmas with the other part of our brady bunch.

This year I realized just how old my sisters are getting, and it makes me sad and happy. We didn't get to spend as much time together as I had hoped, and I'll admit I was a little bummed and annoyed by it but we are all to blame.

Sophie has grown into such an amazing young woman and at times i'm envious of how together she has it. We had some nice quality time and finally got to catch up. She went to Morroco over the summer and I feel like when she came back she was a totally different girl. She has it all together and has finally found herself. She knows what she likes, what she doesn't and no longer hides any of it from anyone. She met a boy who from what I've seen and heard is perfect for her. She isn't trying to be someone she isn't anymore and I couldn't be more proud of her.

Gen is turning 18 in two days, which I still refuse to acknowledge. She is getting so old. She has triumphed over so many obstacles in the past four years and it makes me so happy to see that she is coming out on top and will be starting what will probably be the most amazing chapter of her life. I can't wait to watch her grow when she goes to college. I'm keeping my fingers crossed she gets into USC (her top choice).

The time I spent in Virginia made me realize a few things and I am making a commitment to changing them. I feel like i've grown apart from the two girls who I used to do everything with, and it makes me sad. I feel like a week wasn't long enough to catch up on everything that was going on in my sister's lives and that makes me sad because two hours should catch me up on what I don't know.

New Years Eve was very low key for me and I loved it. E and I spent the night having a few beers, playing board games and watching movies. It was perfect. I didn't want to go out and party, and I spent it exactly how I wanted...with him.

2009 has been a year of changes for me and it's definitley a year I won't forget. I moved to Albany, started in a new school, moved on from my past, met an amazing man, and for the first time in a very long time I am happy with almost all aspects of my life...

Which brings me to my resolutions. I asked E what his new year resolution was and when he asked me mine my immediate response was that I don't make them because I never keep them...but the more I think about it the more I realized maybe this year should be the one that changes that all.

I accomplished my goal of last year and that was to be happy. So for this year I have a few resolutions...
1. Figure out my future. I'm not saying plan every aspect...but I need to figure out where I want to be at this time next year. Do I want to be working? Do I still want to be living in Albany? There are a lot of questions that I need to figure out...and as I told E this resolution is basically "me getting my shit together"
2. Make my relationship with my sisters better. I need to make an effort to call them once a week, catch up and make sure I know what's going on with them in their lives. This may seem like something I would do anyway, but we are all so busy that sometimes it's hard to get in touch. I'm thinking of making a certain day/time and calling them everyweek at that time.
3. Keep promises. I keep the big ones, but I've slacked on the small ones I make. I promise friends I'll come visit and then I don't. I promise I'll try and resolve issues better and I don't. So I need to start following through on promises I've made to people.
4. Let go. I have done this pretty well, but I think I'm still trying to see the good in people who just don't deserve it. People from my past have come back into my life...not at my request...and I think that I am trying to make it work, trying to see the good in them and give second, third, twentieth chances when these chances aren't deserved. I was told by someone that those who are in my past and haven't moved on with me into this new chapter of my life are like that for a reason, I don't need to make sure everyone is happy. I need to make sure I'm happy.
5. Take more pictures. I think this one is pretty self explanatory.

2010 will be my year, I plan on making big changes and I hope that those around me will follow me into the new year and support me while I try to make these changes.

I'm also thinking a nice weekend vacation is in my near future. I just want to get away from everything and take some time for myself, maybe in a nice cabin in the mountains, and just RELAX.

So as I'm sitting here planning my future, evaluating my past and listening to E snore I'll leave you with one of my favorite songs. It makes me smile every time. :)

peace&love.